Godfather Of Romance
by Absolut Asian
Summary: James forgot it was Lily's birthday and stresses. But Sirius comes to the rescue by offering to write a romantic letter. But really, what do you expect 'romance' to be from SIRIUS? RR


"Sirius, what am I going to _do_?"

James Potter circled around the Gryffindor common room with sweat dripping from his face. His best friend, Sirius Black, chuckled from his large armchair and clucked his tongue. "Ah, Potter. You worry too much." He flipped his black hair back from his face, making several third year witches in the corner sigh. James continued to pace but stared at Sirius. "Damn it Black, I forgot today was Lily's birthday! H-how can I _calm down _when I don't have a thing for her?! NOT EVEN A CARD!" He stopped moving and stood in front of the fireplace. Slowly he pulled his wand out of his robe pocket and began to flick it. "I got it," he said. "I'll apparate my arse out of this mess and won't return until a month later!"

His best friend had tackled him in an instant, the wand flying to the third years. They all giggled. "Are you insane? You don't even know _how_." Sirius removed himself from James and stood up, brushing himself off. "Just write the woman a note on the spot – women fall for that romantic shit, I am quite sure." A moment later James was standing next to him with his mouth open dumbly. "But…but I can't _write _romantic things."

"Make it about Quidditch. 'When I hear your name, it hits my chest like a Bludger to the-!'"

"Lily doesn't like it when I mix Quidditch with everything, you git. We're in our sixth year, shouldn't you know that after all these years?" James sat down in Sirius' previous armchair and placed his head in his hands. "I'm dead. D-E-A-D." For a moment, Sirius was sure James was sobbing. But then he realized he was just murmuring about death, or something of that sort. He stood there for a moment, tapping his foot, and then the black-haired man shouted, "I GOT IT!"

"Padfoot, what?" James looked up with a red face. (It was illuminated from the fire; but Sirius couldn't tell if it was from that or from tears) "What?" Sirius said nothing, but instead walked up to the third years and winked. He was asking them something, which they agreed to and handed him something – no, some_ things._ Then he sat down in the chair next to James' and poised a feather on a paper. "I'll write you this. Lily'll _never _know." He grinned his trademark grin and shot the girls his best look. A sigh was heard through the whole common room.

James looked skeptical. "You, mate?" Sirius nodded and clucked his tongue, which seemed to be a habit now. The two sat there for a moment, not saying anything; then James sighed and threw his arms in the air. It was getting late and there was no point in arguing with Sirius. He got out of the armchair and pointed a warning finger at his best friend. "Look-" (Sirius raised an eyebrow) "-I am going to leave this to you, but if you write anything – _anything _– bloody stupid or perverted I will pull an Unforgivable on your arse." Sirius chuckled and slapped his knee. "Trust me; after the lady reads this, she will never want to leave your side…she'll forget that you _forgot_ her birthday!"

And with one final poisonous look, James left Sirius to write the letter.

For awhile Sirius didn't write anything; instead he stared deeply into the fire, thinking. One of the witches in the corner came up to him and asked him if he wanted help but was declined. "Potter'll love me for this damn letter!" He poised the feather and began to write in his scrawl (similar to James') on the paper.

- - -

_Lily baby:_

_You will most likely be bloody mad at me – screaming when you read this – because I forgot your birthday. You've GOT to believe me when I say that I wanted to get you a card or a quick-made present, but I came up with the brilliant idea of writing a romantic letter. Or poetry. Let me try: Every time I look in your face, the beauty bangs into my chest like a Bludger to the groin. When I kiss you it is like the taste of chocolate. I love your beautiful face; you didn't have to be the Head Girl to catch my eye. When you touch me, the feeling of your loving goes straight to my loins. How do you like that so far? I hope you enjoy it. Maybe Dumbledore has chocolate…I could give it to you and we could eat it…but in many creative ways! Wouldn't that be interesting?_

_I know that it will be hard to forgive me, but that isn't the only thing that's hard tonight._

_Love James (I could be your sex kitten)_

_- - - _

Sirius smiled at his masterpiece and pulled his wand out, then muttered a spell under his breath. The paper rolled up automatically and floated next to him as Sirius approached the girls with a lopsided grin on his face. "Hel-lo," Sirius lowered his voice to a seductive voice, which made the girls blush, "Could I ask one of you lovely ladies to deliver something to a special someone?"

- - -

As Sirius walked back through the portrait hole from who-knows-where, he grinned to himself. _It must have been delivered to her by now. _He thought, placing a chocolate box on his armchair. _Well, James and her are together in one of their secret passages, _-Sirius began to walk back to his room- _they'll be snogging very soon because of the godfather of romance._

Before Sirius stepped into his room, a shriek that was a mixture of horror, disgust and anger tore through the air. And as went inside, two people stomping into the common room tore through the air. Finally a slapping sound and a girl yelling burst everyone's eardrums. However, to Sirius, it sounded like Lily was happy, very happy.

Content, Sirius fell asleep.

- - -

**A/N: **I don't like the ending, but I wrote this over three or four fucking days, and I couldn't think of anything else. But Sirius is cocky (we all know) and so of course he thinks he's the "godfather of romance". Review, review for my comeback, please!

_-Real-fan05_


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